Midsummer's Dance
by Starless Night
Summary: A tale of the trials and tribulations of first love. **Chapter 9: Jump, Legolas, Jump!**
1. Life Sucks When You're Seventeen

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Chapter Two: _Life Sucks When You're Seventeen_

Disclaimer: _The only thing I own is…well, nothing. So you can determine from that I do not own anything in this story, save for the story itself. Woo hoo._
    
    The next morning, I woke to the sound of voices downstairs. I rolled over and glanced at the clock and saw that it was only nine o'clock. Who in the world would be here at nine on a Saturday morning?

I felt something prickling at my leg, and looked down to see my cat, Merlin, crawling along my bed. I sat up and picked him up saying, "Merlin, I had the strangest dream last night. I dreamt that Crudhead said he was in love with me, and then he gave me this engagement ring the size of Tibet. Isn't that just the stupidest thing you've ever heard?" Merlin just looked at me with his big, speculating eyes and meowed. I rubbed my cheek against his fur. 

"I know. I'm so glad he never found out about that crush I had on him last year." I knew it would be the end of me if he ever did find out.

I ran my hand down Merlin's back and was about to put him down on the floor, when something sparkly caught my eye. I lifted my hand and squinted at it.

__

Oh, God, I thought. _It wasn't a dream._ The diamond was as bright as it had been the night before.

I leapt out of bed using every curse and profanity I knew to damn Cleon to a fiery hell, and managed to stub my toe in the process.

"OWWW!!! Stupid bed! That HURT! I hate you! I hate all of you!" I know yelling at inanimate objects in your bedroom doesn't really do much to help the situation, much less your state of mind, but it helped to ease the pain. It also helped draw every single person in the house to the sound of my voice.

__

Great going, Keladry. Now they know you're up. I had been planning to sneak out my window and run to the library, but no such luck.

My mom barged into my room, followed by Mrs. Kennan, Freddie, and of course, Cleon. They saw me standing in the center of my bedroom, wearing nothing but my pajamas and holding my toe, and all breathed a sigh of relief.

"Honey, are you all right? We heard you scream and thought you'd hurt yourself." My mom came closer to inspect my foot.

"I'm fine, mom. Just stubbed my toe." I carefully placed my foot back on the ground, and winced when I saw Cleon ogling me. My pajamas aren't the most modest things in the world. I used to sleep in the nude, until Freddie found out and crept over early one morning and took pictures of me to blackmail me with. That was not the best episode in my life.

So I took to wearing shorts and a tee-shirt to bed, though there's not much of them. On this particular day, I was wearing a pair of very short shorts and a very tight top. You can just imagine Cleon's reaction.

He stood there like an idiot, with this really stupid I'm-a-moron look on his face. Freddie noticed this as well, and nudged him with her elbow. He came back to reality with a clearing of his throat as he shifted from foot to foot and looked at everything in the room but me.

I glared at him. This whole toe thing was his fault, anyway.

My mom patted my head and gave my cheek a little peck. "Well, get dressed and come downstairs. Cleon says he's got something to tell everyone…" she trailed off as her attention was drawn to a tiny sparkle coming from my finger. She grabbed at the sparkle in question and stared at my ring.

I closed my eyes and prayed she wouldn't ask anything about it. And prayed that Cleon would keep his stupid mouth shut.

"Where did you get this? It looks like an engagement ring. Are you engaged? When did this happen? Who are you engaged to? Well, what have you got to say for yourself?" Seriously, how does she expect a person to answer when they're being bombarded with questions like machine gun bullets?

I was about to answer when Cleon stepped forward.

__

Oh, God, was my only thought.

"Ah, Mrs. Wilson, I gave her the ring." Well, thanks so much, Cleon. You've officially made my life a living hell.

With the evilest look I could muster, I glared at him until he was shifting his feet again. 

Meanwhile, my mom, Mrs. Kennan, and Freddie were all looking at me, waiting for a response. I glanced back at my mom who was still holding my hand with the ring, and then glanced back at Cleon.

__

Hell, it's just this week and one summer. How bad could it be?

"Um…yeah. Cleon asked me to marry him last night and I said yes." I let out a weak laugh. There, that wasn't so horrible. In fact, the whole fake-engagement thing was starting to be pretty fun.

Everyone stared at me, stunned into silence. No one spoke a word. Then Freddie cleared her throat and said, "So…how about breakfast?"

Mrs. Kennan mumbled something that I supposed was agreement, and my mom narrowed her eyes at me before following Freddie and Mrs. Kennan out of my room, leaving me and Cleon alone. I waited until I could hear them puttering around in the kitchen before I turned on Cleon.

"You MORON!" I stomped over to the door and slammed it shut. I whirled back to face him and saw him grinning at me with that idiotic smile of his. I growled at him.

"Do you have any idea how sexy you look at the moment?" He stepped closer to me and reached out a hand as though to touch my hair. I slapped it away.

"I don't care! You are a pig and a moron! I hate you! I hate you!" I kicked my bed again and howled as my already stubbed toe felt the wrath of my anger.

"Now that hurts me, Keladry. Really, it does. Here I was, thinking I could get you to fall madly in love with me, and you go and say something like that." He sniffed and wiped an imaginary tear away from his eye.

For some reason, I felt the urge to laugh. Just burst out laughing. Because the urge was so intense, I just stepped forward and smacked Cleon's head.

"You really are a moron." I stalked over to my bed, deliberately avoiding the wooden leg in the corner, and sat down. "Now if you don't mind, I'd like to get dressed."

"Okay." He just stood there.

I raised my eyebrow at him. "I _meant_ for you to leave the room."

Cleon grinned at me. "Hey, we're engaged. Can't I at least watch you get undressed? It'll be like you're stripping for me!"

He looked so excited, like a little boy, that I had to laugh this time. "No way. Get out."

I stood up and was about to shove him out of the room when he grabbed me and crushed me against his chest. Now, I've known for a while that Cleon worked out, but I've never actually been close enough to see if it made any difference. And let me tell you, it does. His chest was like a block of steel. It was _hard_! But being pressed up against him was kind of weird, and he was starting to hurt my arms anyway, so I tried to wiggle away.

He groaned. "You're killing me here, Kel." I stopped wiggling to look up at him. Sure enough, he had a look of great pain on his face. 

I grinned. "Am I? Well, we don't want that." I was about to knee him where every man fears to be injured when he lowered his head closer to mine.

I jerked back. "What are you doing?"

He said nothing, just smirked and pressed his lips to mine. Of all the strange and infuriating things he'd done in the last twenty four hours, this was the worst. Not only was this the worst, it was also the one that felt best.

Now, I'm not saying that I've never been kissed before, because I have, but it's never been like this. This felt like…I don't know…it just felt right. Like I'd been waiting my whole life for it.

I guess Cleon thought I wasn't enjoying it, probably from the fact that I hadn't moved an inch, because he pulled back and let go of me.

"I better go downstairs," he mumbled with this sort of rejected look on his face. Anyone who knows Cleon will know that when Cleon looks sad, he looks like a little lost puppy. That one look always gets to me. 

He turned away and walked toward the door. I snapped out of my trance just as his hand touched the doorknob. 

"Wait!" He turned his head in surprise, and I threw myself at him, sending him crashing into the door. I locked my legs around his waist and fused my mouth to his. I had obviously caught him by surprise, because he staggered a bit.

He wrapped his arms around my waist to keep the both of us from falling to the floor.

I let go and slowly slid down his body. "Hmm…well." That was not what I'd intended to do. "I'm going to get dressed now." I spun around and began rifling through my closet, more to keep my hands busy than to find clothing.

Cleon let out a deep breath. "Uh, yeah. Downstairs." I heard him fumble with the doorknob before he managed to get it open and let himself out, closing the door behind him. 

I lowered myself to the floor.

"Oh, God," I moaned and put my head in my hands. "This is bad. This is very bad." And indeed it was. Who would've guessed that Cleon would have such a marvelous mouth? I had no idea how I was going to survive the summer. 

I whimpered and pressed my fingers to my lips. Life sucks when you're seventeen. No, make that life suck when you're seventeen and pretending to be engaged to your worst enemy and just found out that he is the best kisser in the entire world and has the sexiest body ever.

This was really, really bad.


	2. Digging A Hole Deeper Than The Grand Can...

**Chapter Three: **_Digging A Hole Deeper Than The __Grand Canyon___

**Disclaimer:** _Ah…not much to say here.  I own nothing but a cell phone and a dream.  Life sucks, don't it?_

I took my time getting dressed, dreading the confrontation that awaited me in the kitchen. After Cleon had left my room, it finally sunk in how deep we were going to have to go into this whole engagement thing. If my mom and his family thought it was real, what were we going to do when the summer was over? Just 'pretend' to break the whole thing off? Have a big fight?

This was definitely the kind of situation that I never ever wanted to get involved in again. Ever.

I stood in front of my full-length mirror and stared at my reflection. What did he see in me, anyway? I'm not breathtakingly gorgeous like his last girlfriend Sharon, and I don't look like a playboy model like his girlfriend before her, Brenda.  My mouth is too big for my face, and my nose looks like a squished cabbage.  Okay, so maybe not a squished cabbage, but it's definitely not the most perfect nose in the world.  

My height…ah, well, my height is actually rather embarrassing.  I'm 5'11" and a half, standing only half an inch shorter than my so-called fiancé.  There have been many a day in which I have cursed my parents for their ridiculously tall relatives.

In any case, my eyes are a nondescript green, and my hair is an ordinary brown, sort of curly, but not to the point of being actually curly. 

Then there's my boobs. I turned sideways and studied my profile. They're almost non-existent. You'd think that with my height, they'd at least grow to be a reasonable size. But no. They have to pretend they're not there.

My mom keeps telling me that I'm too skinny and that I need to eat more. Does she think I don't know that? I would give anything to have more curves instead of all these angles. I'd give anything to look less like a 12 year old boy, and more like a 17 year old girl.

Quite a few times, I've actually been mistaken for a boy.  With my hair tied back and a baggy sweatshirt, I look like one of the guys.  All in all, I'm not the most impressive package.

With a depressed sigh, I turned back to face my reflection and growled at it. "What's Cleon's problem, anyway? He's like a freak or something. A stupid moronic freak." 

I smoothed down my hair where a stray curl had gotten loose from the rest of them, and concentrated on the task at hand. I narrowed my eyes and let three different scenarios of the terrifying scene that drew near to play out in my head.

In one of them, I would glide into the kitchen, all brave and full of confidence. My mom would pull me into a big hug and say she's happy for both of us, and then Freddie and Mrs. Kennan would start to cry and welcome me to the family. Then one of Cleon's ex-girlfriends would come to the door and shoot him in the chest for betraying her. We would all laugh and point at his bleeding body lying on the kitchen floor, and give his murderer a big slap on the back for ridding us of someone so horrible, so…Cleon.

I really liked that one.

In the next one, I would saunter into the kitchen and pay no attention to Cleon. I would go over to the telephone to call my really sexy, really intimidating biker-boyfriend who would then zoom up to the house on his massive monster of a motorbike and whisk me away to some gang of bikers where I would become his biker-bitch.

I kinda got carried away with that one, but it was entertaining while it lasted.

In the last one, the one that kinda freaked me out, I walked into the kitchen to find Cleon, Freddie, my mom, and Mrs. Kennan all sitting around the breakfast nook, drinking orange juice. With my eyes cast downward, I slowly walked over to the fridge and got out the milk, as I detest anything orange. I sat down on one of the stools with my class of milk and waited for the lecture. But none came. My mom told me how she knew this was coming, and throughout the years she could see the feelings that Cleon and I had for each other. She knew that one day we would discover our love for each other and get married. 

Then Mrs. Kennan said she felt the same way, and Freddie just smiled and said, "Welcome to the family, sister." And Cleon, with that stupid grin on his face, and his eyes mocking me like they always did, walked over to me and leaned down to kiss me. 

As he did, I whispered in his ear, "I love you."

As that final scene frolicked through my imagination, I jerked back in shock. Where had that one come from? I don't love Cleon. I could never love someone so…icky. I _hate_ Cleon…right? I hate him with all my heart and wish that he would go far, far away from here where I could never see him, smell him, or touch his sexy body again.

This has _got_ to stop.

"No more thinking about Cleon's body," I told my reflection. "He is not cute. He is not sexy. And he is nothing more than a little bug whom I intend to squash."

_A very sexy little bug.___

I growled. "What did I say about thinking about that?" I took a deep breath. And then another. "Okay. Now it's time to go downstairs and work on this whole…thing that you've gotten yourself into. No more stalling." I didn't move.

I glared at myself in the mirror. "You're going to do this, Keladry Rose Mindelan, whether it kills you or not. Now move." But my feet were stuck to the floor. "Goddamn it, Keladry! Act like a grown, mature person!"

Then I started to panic. What if my mom found out it was all just pretend, and then got really mad at me and grounded me forever and made me quit the school newspaper? Or…what if Freddie found out and then told the entire school? I would be the laughing stock of my peers and would be shunned for eternity. Or…what if Cleon decided that he actually _was_ in love with me and he really did mean everything that he said last night? Or…what if…

What if a bunch of aliens descended upon the earth and told us that if we didn't surrender to their superior powers, they would make us all watch reruns of Seinfeld every day for the rest of our lives.

I shuddered at the thought.

Maybe this whole fake engagement thing wasn't really a good idea, after all. Maybe I should just go down and tell everyone that it was just a joke, that I was being bribed to do it and it was all Cleon's fault. 

Then I remembered the car. He said I could have part ownership. Part ownership of a _Mercedes_!

"Alright. You can do this. For the car." That's what I told myself. I was doing it for the car, and only the car. "How many times do you get offered something like this, just to lie?"

I nodded at my reflection. "That's it. I'm going in."

With one last glance out my window at the beautiful vehicle that would soon be partly mine, I swung open my bedroom door and sailed down the stairs. As I neared the kitchen and heard the voices of my enemies (as I had come to think of them), I slowed down. I stopped just outside the door, and took a deep breath.

_It's now or never, Keladry._ I forced myself to push open the door and take those first painful steps into the unknown.

I'm going to tell you now that the scene I encountered was _not_ pretty…and was, unfortunately one of the ones I imagined. You can probably guess which one.

My mom was serving waffles to Mrs. Kennan and Freddie, while Cleon was pacing the kitchen floor, in obvious distress. Did I mention that he's a constant worrier? No matter what happens, he has to worry about what the outcome is going to be, and always has to ask, _What if…_

Kind of like me, I guess.

Anyway, the second I stepped into the kitchen, everyone looked up at me, and I felt like a deer caught in the headlights of an oncoming car. There were all these accusing eyes…and one set of puzzled emerald eyes…glaring at me like this whole mess was my fault. Which it kind of was in a way, seeing as I agreed to it…

No, wait a minute! This whole thing was _Cleon's_ idea, not mine! Why isn't anyone getting mad at him? Why doesn't anyone _ever_ get mad at him? It's just not fair!

Then I realized that everyone was still staring at me and I hadn't said a single word since the little episode in my bedroom.

I cleared my throat. "Ah…good morning everyone."

My mom sighed. "Keladry, sit down. We need to talk."

_Oh, God. Here it comes._

I sat down at the breakfast nook across from Freddie, who offered me an encouraging little smile, and poured myself a glass of milk.

"Honey," my mom began, her voice softer and kinder than usual, which kind of hinted that something out of the ordinary was about to take place. She indicated for Cleon, who had long since stopped pacing and was now scratching his head like a moron in the corner, to sit down on the remaining stool. Which, of course, just happened to be next to me.

"Honey," she began again, "I know that you're almost eighteen, and are old enough to make your own decisions, but don't you think that you're rushing into this marriage? I mean, a two month engagement really isn't that long, but if what you really want is to get married at the end of the summer, then – "

"Two months?!? Who said anything about two months? What did you tell them, Cleon???" I spun around on my stool to shove at him sitting next to me.

He grinned. "I just said that you were anxious to get this wedding out of the way, and that you were really looking forward to our honeymoon…in Ireland."

"What? Ireland?" 

"That's right!" Cleon grinned almost evilly. 

Sneaky little bastard. I glanced at my mom, who was looking at me with a funny expression, and realized that whatever I said now would determine the fate of this little charade. I took a deep breath and said the first thing that came to mind. "Uh…right, Ireland. Well, what can I say…I couldn't stand to wait any longer!" I gave her a weak smile weakly and tried not to jump as Cleon reached out to grip my hand.

There was silence as our families absorbed my declaration, then a burst of squeals and laughter.

"Oh, I'm just so proud of you two!" Mrs. Kennan began crying as she caught us in a big, teary hug.

My mom put her arm around my shoulders and said, "Whatever you decide to do, honey dove, I'm with you the whole way."

Then Freddie ruined everything my hugging me and whispering in my ear, "Now we can be sisters forever."

This is good. Maybe if I dig a deep enough hole, I can just crawl into it and die.


	3. The Effectiveness of Cynicism

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Title: _Midsummer's Dance_

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Rating: _PG-13_

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Disclaimer: _I own all these characters. I own the Protector of the Small books. I own everything that has to do with Daine and Keladry and Cleon and Numair. If you believe any of that, you are in need of serious help._

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Story Summary: _Keladry and Cleon don't get along; never have, and never will…or so they assume. So when they make an agreement that at first seems like a great idea, but soon gets out of hand, they discover that people are not who they seem. And emotions are not to be fooled with. Love and pain go hand in hand, but what happens when the pain is sweet and the love rejected? Keladry and Cleon have one summer to find out exactly will come to pass when one of them wants it, and the other doesn't._

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Chapter One: _The Effectiveness of Cynicism_

"Keladry! Kel, honey, the phone's for you!" My mother's voice echoed up the stairs. 

I scowled and glanced over my shoulder. To answer the phone, I had to walk across my room to my bedside table, where my dragon phone sat. 

"Whoever is calling had better have something VERY important to say," I grumbled to myself. I pushed away from my computer and grudgingly slumped over to the bed and threw myself on it.

I yanked up the dragon head receiver and grumbled, "Hello…"

"Hey Kel!" It was Freddie Kennan, my next door neighbor and long-time friend. Her voice was cheerful and perky, as per usual. "Whatcha doin'?" 

I gave a heartfelt sigh and a wistful look to my computer where I had been working on my latest column for the school newspaper. "Nothing."

"Well…you'll never guess who showed up at my house today!!!" I could practically see Freddie bouncing on her bed, twirling the phone cord between her fingers.

"I don't know…" I hated guessing games. "Uh…Brad Pitt. Brad Pitt showed up on your doorstep and asked you to marry him."

"I wish! No, guess again! Oh, never mind…I'll tell you!" She paused dramatically. "Cleon! It was Cleon!" I had to hold the phone a foot away from my hear, she was screaming so loud.

Cleon was her older brother, and apparently he actually made it through the first year of Harvard law. The Kennan family had had a really big celebration last year when Cleon got his acceptance letter in the mail. I, sadly, had been forced by my mother to attend. 

"Well, well, the little Crud's home. I'm just bursting with excitement. I can't wait to see what bit of torment he's cooked up for me in the past year." Since the year I started fourth grade and Cleon started sixth, it has been his life's goal to make mine a living hell. And so far, he has succeeded. Nine years of torment from Cleon Kennan. That is probably why I'm such a sarcastic and cynical person today.

I swear I could hear Freddie rolling her eyes. "Oh come on Kel, you know Cleon is only like that to you because he knows that it gets you so annoyed. I promise he'll be nicer from now on! Go look out your window!"

"My window? Why?" My window faces the street. There is never anything of value to spy on there, except maybe Mrs. Collard who walks her little poodle every morning, and every morning both her and Sweetums (that's her poodle) are wearing matching outfits.

"Just do it!" Freddie stomped her foot. Sometimes, I think her parents lied about her age. There is no way she is seventeen and in grade 12. She acts like a nine year old.

"Fine, fine, fine." I walked over to my window. "Okay, what am I looking at, exactly, that is _so_ incredibly fascinating?"

"See that black car in front of my house? The one with the word _Mercedes_ on the side?"

I zeroed in on the car in question. It was indeed a black one, and it did indeed have the word _Mercedes_ on the side. It was also a very nice, brand new convertible, and the car I had been saving up to buy for the last year and a half.

"What the heck is my dream car doing outside _your_ house on a Friday afternoon?"

"Oh…nothing much, at the moment. It's Cleon's." Now _that_ had me stunned. Cleon Kennan had a Mercedes? The same Cleon that calls me Laddie and asks why I'm not a lass?

"Kel? You still there?"

"Uh…" I could not find the words to form what I wanted to say. "Could…could I come over later?"

I really think I'm telepathic or psychic or something, because I know that Freddie smirked when I said that.

"Sure, Kel," She paused as someone in the background said something to her. "Oh, and Cleon says he hopes you're happier when you get here or he's gonna beat you up like he did in eighth grade."

I snorted. "He wishes. Crud only got those hits in cause I had a cold and a broken arm. Tell him that now I'm bigger and stronger with two good arms and four classes of kickboxing behind me."

Freddie giggled and relayed the message. I heard Cleon's roaring laughter in the background and his yell, "In your dreams, Laddie!" before Freddie said goodbye and hung up.

Cleon's gonna wish he never came home for the summer, I thought. It's my turn to make _his _life a living hell. I rubbed my hands together and sat down in front of my computer again to form a list of the many things I could do to torment my archenemy.

*~*~*~*~*~*
    
    
    I hate curiosity. It is, as I have learned, my greatest weakness. So naturally, as I was planning how to ruin Cleon's summer, the curious little Keladry inside me wanted to get a better look at that lovely car sitting under the maple tree outside. I wanted to stay and plot against Cleon. It was a toss up, but little Kel and the car won. 

It was about seven o'clock before I actually got downstairs, and it was two hours later by the time I made it past my social butterfly of a mother. She can't go a day without organizing at least one charity or party. It's all she ever does: plan, plan, plan. So you know where I get it from.

Well, when she finally let me out the door, it was completely dark outside. The minute I stepped out into the cool night air, I was struck with yet another idea for my column. I write the "Kel's Future" column, and it's basically devoted to my opinion on the future of the human race and our world. I write about how if we don't put a stopper in pollution, we'll all look like that guy on that movie with Geena Davis, "The Fly". That's the one about the guy who gets turned into a human/fly thing. He looks really gross.

I also write about what I think the world is going to be like in fifty years or so, with the advance of technology and brain power. A few people think my column is weird, but most are intrigued by my "imagination," as Mr. Stogart puts it. I think they just read it to laugh at my lame concepts and sarcastic remarks about the government.

So as I was walking the ten feet to Freddie's house, I tried to put together something for a "clean air policy" in the future. People recycling their air like they recycle their garbage, that sort of thing. I was so caught up in my thoughts, I didn't hear the footsteps behind me until someone put their hand over my mouth and pulled me into a car.

Now, my mother has trained me to never get into strange cars with strange people, but in this case, I had no choice.

I struggled against the steel-like grip and tried to bite the person's hand. I was about to pee myself to get free, when I heard the laugh. It was a booming, cheerful laugh that could only come from one family.

The Kennans.

The person let go of me and I fell back against the soft leather seat. "Cleon, you ass!" I sucked in breath and desperately tried to slow my racing heart. "I thought you were some kind of psycho…oh, never mind. I was right."

Cleon leaned back into his seat and smiled at me. "It's nice to see you haven't changed, Laddie."

I glared at him and crossed my arms. "I'll have you know, that name no longer bothers me. I'm well aware that you are a moron and a jerk, so nothing you call me or say to me will bother me in the least."

Cleon scratched his head. "Is that right?"

I set my chin stubbornly. "Yes."

He looked at me with his green eyes somehow mocking me. Don't ask me how it's possible for eyes to mock, but his did. "Okay, well, what about what I do to you?"

I snorted. "There is nothing you could do that could bug me, either." I was about to say something else when the light in his eyes changed. They were no longer mocking me. They looked almost…serious. Now, that was something new. Cleon was never serious, except when it came to school. But this was different. It was a kind of scary serious.

"What?" I demanded. "Stop looking at me like that." He didn't stop. "Okay, you're freaking me out. I'm going to leave now." I reached over to open the car door, but his hand snaked out and grabbed my arm before I was even close.

"Wait," he said, almost desperately. This was definitely not the same Cleon that left for school a year ago. That Cleon was _never_ desperate.

I glanced over at him and scowled. "This had better be good."

He let go of my arm and reached in his pocket as though he were searching for something. "I, ah…I got you something."

Cleon bought me something? I raised an eyebrow at him and said, "Are you feeling okay?"

He looked up at me, his eyes confused. "Yeah, I'm fine. Why?" I guess he finally found what he was looking for, because he pulled a small silver box out of his jacket.

"Well, it's just that the only thing you've ever got me was that box of chocolates filled with worms. And that box doesn't look big enough to hold enough worms to gross me out. So what's the deal?"

Cleon looked really nervous. He was twirling the box from hand to hand and kept fidgeting in his seat.

"Okay Crud, say it before I pound it out of you."

He sighed and glanced out the window before turning to me with a scared look on his face. "Look…Kel, I know we've never really been very good friends,"

I interrupted, "Try we've never been friends at all."

"Yeah. But I need to ask you for a favor. A really _really_ big favor."

I narrowed my eyes at him suspiciously. "How big a favor?"

Cleon pursed his lips. "Oh, lets just say this favor is bigger than if a dragon landed in your backyard and asked you to take care of her baby."

Hmm, well this favor must really be important, if he used that as an example. "What's the favor?"

"First, say you won't hurt me or say no right away until I explain." He edged away from me in his seat.

I rolled my eyes. "Sure, whatever. I swear I won't hurt you or say no until you explain your _really_ big favor."

Cleon took a deep breath, preparing himself to ask the favor. "I need you to pretend to be my fiancé.'

My mouth dropped open. Fiancé? He wants me to act as his _fiancé_??? Here I was expecting something like _"Would you mind washing my car every day this summer?"_ or _"Could you maybe never come visit Freddie so I don't have to look at you?"_ But no, it had to be _"Would you pretend to be my fiancé?"_

"Ah…why?" For some reason, I didn't really want to say no. Maybe I was having a mental breakdown or something, because I actually wanted to do the favor for him.

Cleon looked relieved that I wasn't rejecting the idea straight off. "Well, you see, my friends from University are coming to visit this summer, and I kinda told them I was engaged. To a really hot girl." He paused. "And you really don't look that bad, and I don't really want to have to bribe anyone to do this."

I gave him a look. "Gee, thanks, Cleon."

He grinned. "No problem. So, you'll do it?" I just looked at him, and he sighed. "Okay, fine. I'll give you a hundred a week, plus I'll do all your chores for the whole summer."

My eyes remained riveted on his face, and I didn't move. Cleon groaned and said, "And I'll let you drive my car every day. In fact, you can have half ownership."

I considered what he was offering, and decided it didn't sound so bad in return for me just saying "_Oh yeah, I'm gonna marry Cleon."_

"Okay, one question." I glanced at Cleon and he nodded. "Why me? Why don't you ask Brenda or one of your many ex-girlfriends? I'm sure they'd be happy to do it."

He smirked and picked up my hand. "Because you, Keladry Mindelan, are my moonbeam of light." He pressed his lips to my knuckles, and I felt a strange tingling sensation rush down my spine. "You are my star of beauty, my flower of patience." I rolled my eyes. "And because I'm in love with you."

Okay, now that I was _not_ expecting. "Uh…what?"

"I have been in love with you ever since you knocked the wind out of me at my Harvard acceptance party last year." He pulled me closer. "So, what do you say? Be my fiancé for the summer?"

I blinked at him, a little flustered. "Uh, yeah. Whatever." Anything to get you to let go of my hand. "I…I gotta go."

I scrambled out of the car and raced into my house, slamming the door behind me. As soon as the door was shut, I leaned against it and let out a puff of air. That was the weirdest thing that has ever happened to me. And the weirdest part about it, was Cleon said he _loved_ me! He called me Kel, which he has never done before.

I was about to go upstairs when someone knocked on the front door. I knew who it was even before answered it. Sure enough, it was Cleon, the glare from the streetlight making him look dangerous, like a lion hunting his prey. I nearly smiled. This was the Cleon I was used to, not the one who had held my hand and spoke of moonbeams and love.

"You forgot this." He held out the small silver box.

I looked at it suspiciously. "What is it?"

He pressed the box into the palm of my hand. "Open it."

I gingerly picked up the box with my other hand, removed the lid, and nearly dropped it in surprise. Lying in the center of the box, surrounded by a blue satin cloth, was the biggest, shiniest, most expensive looking diamond ring I'd ever seen. I didn't move or breathe until Cleon reached over to pluck the ring out of the box. He put the box back in his pocket and slid the ring onto my finger. I stared at it, my mouth agape and my eyes wide.

"Only the best for my little moonbeam," he said proudly as he kissed my knuckles the way he had in the car, the way that had those tingles racing down my spine again.

My mouth flapped open and closed a couple times, much like a fish as I'm embarrassed to admit, before I managed to get my voice working again. "How…what…this thing is huge!" I pulled my hand away from him to peer at the gigantic rock. "Is it real?"

Cleon looked genuinely offended. "Of course it's real! Why wouldn't it be?"

I stuck my hand out and wiggled it as the diamond sparkled. I had never owned anything so glittery. It was kind of fun to wear. "It must have cost a fortune! How could you afford something like this?" Before he could answer, I put my hand by my side, looked at him through narrowed eyes and said, "How did you know I'd agree?"

Cleon grinned and stuck his hands in his pockets. "Wishful thinking, I guess."

"Um, Cleon," I began hesitantly, not really wanting to bring this certain issue up, but it had to be spoken of. "About that think you said in the car…"

"That I love you?"

"Uh…yeah, that." Hearing him say it made me feel really weird. Not a bad kind of weird, just a different weird. "Did you mean it?" I mentally crossed my fingers, hoping that he would say this was all just a big joke.

"Of course I meant it! Kel, this last year has been torture for me."

__

Yes! my mind thought. _Torture! That's good, right?_

"Being away from you is the hardest thing I've ever had to do. Not being able to see you, to hear you call me Crudface; it left me hollow inside."

Damn, he was good. I was actually starting to feel something for the sap. Then he ruined the moment by stepping forward and pulling me closer to him saying, "Keladry, my heart, my love, my life. Please say you feel the same."

Oh man, this was starting to turn out like one of those stupid soaps my mother watches.

"Uh…give me some time, okay? This is a lot of information and…stuff to digest in one night." I gently pulled away from him. "Let me sleep on it. Is that all right with you?"

Cleon smiled in what I hoped was understanding. "Dream of me, my dove." With that last sappy comment, he left, closing the door behind him.

"Well." I walked into the kitchen to find something to drink.

This was going to be one _long_ summer.

* * *


	4. Recurring Events and New Prospects

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Chapter Four: _Recurring Events and New Prospects_

Disclaimer: _Hmm…nothing to say here. I don't own anything, sadly, but perhaps, just perhaps, sometime in the near future, people will be writing FanFictions about MY books and movies! Or not…but one can hope! ^_^_

Have you ever had one of those days when you wish everyone would just go away? When you wish that they would all just leave you alone and crawl back to their little holes and stay there forever and ever? That they would somehow, magically, stop everything and slither under a rock and bury themselves alive or something?

Well, as I sat on the living room floor surrounded by wedding catalogues and chattering women, I was seriously considering developing some sort of supernatural power to make them all go *poof* and disappear. Then I realized that would never happen, and unless a genie or witch turned up and granted me three wishes, I was out of luck and stuck suffering through hours of mindless ranting of the people I used to call family and friends.

Not anymore.

Until you have spent four hours oogling wedding dresses and flowers, you have no idea what it's like to despise your mother and the color white so much that you wish you had never been born…and the torture, oh don't even get me started on the distress and misery that one afternoon put me through…

I swear this is what hell is like.

"Ooh, look at this one, Kel!" Freddie squealed and pointed at yet another dress in yet another magazine. "Isn't it just so cute?" 

I just nodded and muttered the same thing I'd been muttering since the beginning of this little escapade: "Uh huh. Yeah. It's real nice."

__

I'm going to kill Cleon when he gets back.

"Oh, and look here. It says you can get bridesmaids dresses in the same sort of pattern, but in pink! That would be so cute! Oh and wouldn't it be cute if we did our hair the same way and I had a flower from your bouquet in my hair? And then we could…"

__

Blah, blah, blah…

"This is gonna be the cutest wedding ever!!!"

I swear to God, if she says the word 'cute' one more time, I'm gonna tie her tongue around her neck and shove that magazine up her…

"Hey! I'm back!" The cheery voice I had grown to hate was like a call from heaven. 

The front door slammed open and Cleon stumbled into the house, his arms laden with bags and bags of what I assumed to be food. But I really could have cared less if it had been a bag full of explosives at the moment. I jumped up from my spot on the carpet and ran over to him.

"Cleon! You're here! I've missed you! Great, now that you're back, we can talk about that…that thing I mentioned earlier." I grabbed his arm and began pulling him toward the kitchen.

"Thing? What thing?" He was almost falling over from the bags he still held, so I took pity on him and grabbed one.

I stared at him. "You know, that _thing_." I nodded my head in the direction of where my mother, Mrs. Kennan, and Freddie still sat giggling over catalogues.

Cleon's eyes grew wide with understanding. "Oh, right. _That_ thing. Um…kay, why don't you help me put away these groceries, and then we can…talk…" He said with barely suppressed laughter in his voice.

__

You are so dead, I said with my eyes and let him follow me into the kitchen.

I said nothing to him as we put all the stuff away, mainly because we both knew that our families had their ears pressed to the kitchen door, but really, there was nothing to say at the time anyway. When everything was put away, I gestured to the back door, and we walked outside.

He walked over to the wooden swing seat thing in the corner of the porch and sat down.

I closed the door behind me, and waited a couple of seconds before throwing myself on the deck swing beside Cleon.

"You have _no_ idea what I've been through! How could you leave me alone with them for the whole day? _How?_ You knew what it was going to be like, and that's why you left! You left me at the hands of…of…THEM, and you don't even care!" I sobbed the last two words and curled into the farthest corner of the swing away from Cleon.

He said nothing. I glanced over at him and I swear my ears had steam boiling out of them when I saw the corners of his mouth twitch.

"Are you laughing? You're laughing, aren't you? You think this is funny. How can you possibly find this funny? This is _so_ not funny!"

He let out a burst of laughter. "Kel, this is hardly something to get so worked up about. You're just having wedding anxiety."

"Wedding anxiety? _WEDDING_ anxiety? Try lying anxiety, or…or…God, I can't even think of anything else to say to you! I'm _so _mad." I crossed my arms and pouted, one of my better skills.

Cleon sighed and slid his arm around the back of the swing and, tentatively, touched his hand to my shoulder. "What are you so mad about? The fact that I left you alone with them, or the fact that I got you involved with this?"

"Both!" I glared at him and then turned my head away to stare out across the lawn. "It's all your fault."

"How, exactly is it my fault?"

"I'm not talking to you."

"That is such a typically female response!" Cleon huffed and pushed himself away from the swing to pace across the deck.

I gaped at him. "_Female_ response? How about you, Mr. I'm-too-good-to-talk-to-Keladry? What about last year when you wouldn't even look at me at your little going-away party? Huh? What about that?"

He spun around to glare angrily at me. "That was a completely different situation! I was so overwhelmed with the acceptance letter, and you were wearing those little shorts and that bathing suit…you have no idea how hard I was trying to keep myself from touching you, from feeling that smooth skin behind your knees…" He broke off, as if he just realized what he had said.

I raised a brow. "Really?" I drew out the word as I rose and slowly walked over to where Cleon was frozen with a horrified expression on his face.

"Um…" He backed up a full step. "Did I say that? I meant…"

"I know what you meant. You meant exactly what you said." I trailed a finger down his chest. "So, what is it that makes me so irresistible to you, Cleon? Is it my legs?" I took a step closer. "Or is it my lips?" I traced the outline of his. "Or maybe it's my…"

I broke off as he crushed me against him. "Maybe it's that uncanny ability of yours to analyze things to bits."

"Maybe it's that," I was having trouble concentrating with those sexy lips so close to mine. My eyes kept being drawn to them, and I couldn't seem to stop from gasping as he ran his hand down my back. Those wonderful tingles had rushed back into my system the minute he had grabbed me.

He nipped at my bottom lip. "Or maybe it's because I'm so totally and completely in love with you that I can't see anything but you."

You see, it's things like that, when he says things like that, it really puts a damper on my mood.

I pushed away from him and raked a hand through my hair. "Look, Cleon. I know I agreed to this whole engagement thing, but do you really have take it that far? I know you're just playing with me…right?"

__

Say yes, say yes, I silently pleaded.

He sighed. "Keladry, when are you going to accept the fact that I really do love you? I love everything about you. Your legs, your lips, you analyzing, your mind." A smirk played on his lips as his eyes traveled down my body and rested just below my neck. "But most of all, I love your – "

Just then, the back door slammed open and both Cleon and I whipped our heads around to glare accusingly at the interrupter. And encountered the most beautiful male specimen I had ever seen before in my entire life.

His hair was a golden brown, a tawny color that offset the almost startling emerald green of his eyes. His skin was deeply tanned, like he spent every spare moment at the beach, and he was six and a half feet if he was an inch. And under those jeans and that Harvard sweatshirt, I was positive there was a finely sculpted and perfectly muscled body that screamed to be touched.

Cleon let out his booming laugh and sauntered over to the newcomer to grasp his hand and slap his back. Typical male behavior.

"Joren! Hey, man, it's great to see you! Kel, this is my friend Joren, from university! Joren, this is my fiancée, Keladry Wilson."

"Hey," Joren said, nodding his gorgeous head in my direction.

I smiled seductively, or so I assumed, and offered my hand as would a princess. "Charmed, I'm sure," I said airily, though I was giggling like a lunatic in my head. He pressed his lips to my knuckles like Cleon had, except this time it was so completely different. Joren's lips were so soft and so gentle. His eyes were so green, so dreamy, so…

Then Cleon elbowed me in the stomach. "Ow! What was that for?" I shot him a death glare as I rubbed my side.

He frowned at me. "Hey, Joren. How about giving us a little privacy here?" Cleon didn't even glance at his friend.

"Sure." God, even his voice was sexy…

And as he turned and walked inside, the only coherent thought that tumbled through my mind was, _Damn, that is one fine piece of ass._

I must have stood staring at that door with a dopey grin for quite some time, because I barely even noticed when Cleon grabbed my arm and began dragging me back to the swing. I snapped out of my trance and tried to pull my arm out of his grasp.

"Let go!!" But he was holding on too tight, his grip too strong for me to break free. "What's your problem?!"

Cleon pushed me down on the swing and stepped back. His face was frozen in anger, his eyes cold. "What's my problem? I'll tell you exactly what my problem is." And he said nothing, just stood there and glowered down at me.

"Well? Aren't you going to tell me?"

"Tell you what?"

"Tell me what the hell I did to piss you off so much?"

He frowned at me. "You know, you really have developed quite the collection of foul language since I last saw you."

"Don't change the subject, asshole. What the fuck is your problem?" Yeah, I was swearing more that necessary. But when a guy manhandles you without your permission, I think a little cursing is required.

Cleon narrowed his eyes. "I saw the way you were looking at him, Keladry."

"Who, Joren?" _Joren, Joren with the sexy lips and cute butt._ "No, I wasn't."

"Don't lie to me. I'm not blind. And don't even think about trying anything." He crossed his arms and tried to look tough, though it didn't really work.

I widened my eyes in what I hoped looked like shocked innocence. "Try anything? Now Cleon. Why in the world would you assume I'd _try_ anything with one of your dearest friends when I'm supposed to be engaged to _you_?" I laced my words with poison so thick, Cleon looked stunned. Then he went right back to being angry. Damn him.

"Don't you use that tone with me. You're just as much at fault here as I am. You didn't have to agree to anything."

"Don't give me that!" I jumped up and drilled a finger in his chest. "If you hadn't told all your stupid friends this stupid lie, we wouldn't be in the middle of this stupid mess!" I would have liked to have phrased that better…and handled it more maturely.

He glanced down and then scowled at me. "You're going to want to move that finger."

"Oh, am I?" I poked him again, harder. "What are you going to do about it if I don't? Hit me?"

His scowl deepened and he moved the finger himself. "I don't hit women."

"Why? Afraid I might hit back?"

"No."

"Oh, so I'm just too small and weak, then. Is that it? You're afraid you might break me?"

"For God's sake, Keladry! Listen to yourself!" He ran his fingers through his hair in exasperation.

"I am, and let me tell you something buddy. It's going to take a hell of a lot more than one tiny punch from the likes of _you_ to break me." I was shocked to hear my voice waver.

Cleon gently took hold of my shoulders and tilted my chin up. "Don't you think I already know that? Your strength is one of the reasons I love you so much." He drew me into his arms and for some reason, I didn't pull away. "I love you more than I love life itself."

I closed my eyes and breathed him in. He had an odd smell, like a jumble of aftershave and spices, mixed with a dash of spring and vanilla.

And yet again, Cleon ruined the moment, the perfect moment, by opening his mouth and letting words spill out like acid rain.

"Why don't we just move the wedding date up a month and a half so we can get this whole sex thing over with. I'm getting kinda antsy."

__

What the hell, I mentally screamed. I pulled back and, with out thinking of what I was doing, drew my hand back and slapped Cleon across the face. The crack of flesh meeting flesh, and the squeal I let out in shock, drew our families and Joren to the screen door.

I didn't have to look; I could hear them falling over each other and scrambling to get to the door. And even if I had wanted to look, I wouldn't have been able to. My eyes were locked with Cleon's, on the look of hurt and guilt that flashed over his face. And the squeal I had let out had been a result of that same hurt and guilt that had washed through me.

"What's going on?" My mom asked alarmed, as she took in my hand (which hurt like a bitch in heat, by the way) that I was cradling with the other, and Cleon's red cheek. "Did you _hit_ him, Keladry?"

__

Why did I do that? Oh God, I thought. _I just slapped Cleon._

I glanced at his shocked, pained face one last time before spinning around to push past the crowd at the door and race up the stairs.

Keladry!" I heard Cleon call after me. "Wait!"

I panicked. I didn't know what to say, so I said the first thing that popped into my head. "Fuck you!"

I barely heard it, but I swear he muttered, "I'm working on it."

The bastard.

**__**

Author's Note: Ha ha. Okay, seriously, I have no idea what goes on in teenage guys' heads, so if this chapter is completely off, please tell me so! And if you're a guy, please tell me what you would say in a situation like this, how you would present the idea of having sex with a girl without coming right out and saying it. Thanks a bunch! ^_^


	5. The Escape and The Mistake

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Chapter Five: _The Escape and the Mistake_

Disclaimer: _What to say, what to say. Well, I'm poor…doesn't that say it all? Hope you enjoy this chapter. I know I enjoyed writing it! ^_^_

****

Author's Note: Please don't hate me for this chapter. That's all I'm going to say.

I must have paced around my room about fifty times before I finally realized to myself how much of an idiot I was. I mean, slapping Cleon? What in the world brought that on? It's not like he said anything _really_ offensive, or anything. I can't even remember what he said in the first place. And I'm not a violent person by nature; it's just that whenever I'm around Cleon, I feel the need to hit something or someone. And most of the time, Cleon just happens to be in the way when I need to be violent. So there you have it.

But still I kept pacing.

"This pacing is getting me nowhere," I muttered. "I need to go somewhere. I need to _do_ something." I glanced around my room. "But what?"

I couldn't possibly go downstairs, not after what I just did, and there is no way I could use the phone. My mom would somehow suspect I was using it, and pick up the extension downstairs and use it to find out what my plans were. So I had to resort to Plan C. Something I haven't done in three years.

I had to climb out the window.

Wonderful. The last time I climbed out that window, I fell out of the evil twenty-foot elm tree that haunts the side of our house, broke my arm and got a concussion. So you can see why I wasn't too keen on doing it again.

I heard laughter drift up the stairs, that distinct laughter that belonged only to the Kennan family, and made up my mind. I would be escaping through the stupid window. What other choice did I have?

With my mind set on running away to someplace like Cambodia or New Orleans where Cleon would never think to look for me, I maneuvered myself out the narrow window and on to the nearest branch of the evil tree. 

And immediately lost my grip.

__

Crap! I squeezed my eyes shut and hoped for a quick and painless death.

Luckily, I managed to keep my balance and all the nicely healed bones in my arms. But I was scared half to death.

What if they caught me? Any one of them could look out the living room window now and see my almost-failed escape down the evil tree. And if they caught me, they'd make me face Cleon again and that just would not be pleasant.

So I shimmied as fast as I could down the rest of the tree and sped off in the direction of the one place Cleon would never look for me: the public library.

I'm pretty sure Cleon has never set a foot inside a single library in his life. But then, with his charming personality, who'd need to? I really wonder how he managed to get into Harvard in the first place. I mean, it's not like he's a genius or anything. In fact, I'm pretty sure I'm smarter than he is. Not that I'm boasting about my intelligence or anything. It's just that Cleon has never done a serious moment of actual thinking to my knowledge. He only just scraped by in high school, and all he really spent time thinking about was sports and girls. 

Then one of his friends comes up with the hilarious joke of making Cleon take the entrance exam to Harvard. And what do you know? He gets the highest mark out of everyone who applies!

I really don't know how that happened.

But anyway, I managed to reach the library without any major mishaps besides tripping over Sweetums and having Mrs. Collard yell at me for a good minute and a half. I swear, the next time I see her and that stupid fluffball of hers, I'm going to shove that ugly little sweater down her throat.

The library was completely deserted, which is not surprising for a Saturday afternoon. People with real lives and real fiancés are out doing real stuff. Not trying to escape their so-called fiancé and trying to avoid seeing him ever again.

And immediately after I thought that, I felt guilty again. God, I wish I hadn't slapped him. 

But it's over and done with. There's nothing I can do about it. And why do I care anyway? It's not like I _care_ if he's mad at me for the rest of eternity. I mean, if he's so mad at me, he'll call off the 'engagement' and we won't have to pretend to get married.

This whole situation is so incredibly ridiculous, I don't even know why I'm thinking about it.

While I was bubbling and stewing, I made my way to the back of the library to where I was one hundred percent positive Cleon would never, _ever_ find me, and wished I had a shovel so I could dig a hole for myself and die.

That feeling was becoming more and more familiar to me.

With a sigh, I plopped down in one of the uncomfortable chairs and waited. For what, I'm not too sure, but I sat there and waited for _something_.

You have never experienced complete and absolute silence until you've been in a public library on a Saturday afternoon, and let me tell you, it is quiet. There's no sound at all. No squeaky shoes, no whirring fans, no whisper of voices. And a public library in downtown Boston at the end of the school year on a Saturday afternoon is even quieter than normal libraries.

It's almost creepy, how quiet it is.

So I sat there, waiting, for what seemed like a lifetime. In fact, I sat there so long, I eventually put my head down on the table and fell asleep.

Which was exactly how he found me.

I don't know how long he stood there staring at me, but when I opened my eyes, there he was.

"Hi," I said, and smiled sleepily, stretching my arms out in front of me.

"Hey," He smiled that beautiful smile at me, and the whole day felt worthwhile. "I thought I'd find you here."

"Oh did you? And how did you know that?"

He offered his hand and pulled me to my feet. I was so close to him I could feel his body heat, and the hard muscles of his chest.

I couldn't breathe.

"Freddie told me where to look," he said with a sly grin.

__

God bless you, Freddie, I thought, praising my best friend's ability to know everything.

His gaze dropped down to my lips, and as he pulled me closer to him, I couldn't help but think, _This is a mistake._

Then he kissed me, and that thought evaporated into complete bliss. It was like nothing I'd felt before. It was like a voice in my head was saying, _Yes, finally…this is what I've been waiting for all this time._

He pulled his head back and looked at me, his eyes searching my face for something, an answer, maybe. But before I had the chance to say or do anything, I sensed someone else standing near us.

I turned around, and nearly had a heart attack. Standing behind me, face red with anger, was Cleon.

And he had seen what had just happened.

__

Damn it all to hell and back.

"Um…" I couldn't think of a single thing to say except, "Um," over and over again, meanwhile mentally beating myself over the head with a hammer.

Cleon said nothing, just stood there like a ticking time bomb. 

__

Any second now…

He nodded stiffly. "Keladry…" he spared a fleeting look to my partner in crime, "… Joren."

I shifted uncomfortably. "Look Cleon, it's not what it seems…"

"Save it," he said and stormed out of the building, imaginary puffs of smoke in his wake.

I glanced at Joren guiltily and managed a weak smile. "Ha ha…oops."

* * *


	6. Stupid Is As Stupid Does

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Chapter Six: _Stupid Is As Stupid Does_

Disclaimer: _Are these disclaimers really necessary? We all know that I'm poor and Tamora Pierce is not. So let's just not dwell on that thought._

Oops? Oops?! What the hell was I thinking!? Kissing Joren and then saying 'Oops' like some idiot… I stormed down Main Street, Joren following closely by. He'd been following me for the last three blocks, and I kept praying that every car that went by would hit him. Why'd he have to go and do something like that?

_It was partly your fault, Kel_, a tiny voice in my head whispered.

"No, it wasn't!" I screamed. A woman pulled her child away from me, and Joren came running closer.

"Are you okay?" he asked, feeling all over my body with his hands. I slapped at his hands and stepped back.

"What are you, a rabbit? Get off of me!" I turned on my heel and started off down the road again.

"Keladry! Wait!" I could hear Joren apologizing to people as he trailed after me, trying to catch up. I just started walking faster.

"Leave me alone!" I yelled back at him.

"But what about what just happened? In the library?"

I stopped and turned around. He stumbled and nearly fell into me. "That meant nothing. Do you hear me? Nothing!"

He looked incredibly hurt. _Good_, I thought. _The worse he feels, the better._

"You – you didn't feel anything?"

I sighed in frustration. "No! How many times do I have to tell you? I'm engaged to Cleon! _Cleon_. You remember him, your best friend?"

Joren frowned. "Well, yeah, I knew that, but – "

"But what? You thought you'd have a little fling with his fiancée before the wedding? Is that it? You – you – you whore!"

Joren stared at me, then burst out laughing. I glared at him and turned away from him once more, trying to push my way past the mob of people who decided to suddenly congest the sidewalk.

"Get the hell out of my way!" I screamed. A few people looked startled and scampered to the side, but the rest of them pretended to be stupid and deaf. "Damn Yank-wannabes," I muttered and shoved my way past them.

I finally managed to get back to my house, and nearly collapsed with exhaustion on the front lawn. _Why didn't I take the bus?_ I thought angrily to myself. _Oh, right. I didn't think of it because I'm a stupid moron._

While I was berating myself for being so incredibly stupid, both about the bus _and _about that little incident in the library, I didn't notice the front door of my house open and my mother step out. When I did notice, it was too late.

"Keladry Rose Mindelan!" She came storming across the lawn and grabbed me by the ear, something she hasn't done in ten years. "You are in _big_ trouble, young lady!"

"Ow! Let go of my ear!" No matter what I did, no matter how I moved, it just made it worse. "You're hurting me!"

She dragged me inside and pushed me into the living room. I expected to be greeted by a very angry Cleon, but the room was empty. I spun around to face my mother, who was red in the face with anger.

"I very, _very _disappointed in you," she said, wagging her finger at me.

_Oh my God, how did she find out about – about – gargh!_

"What's the big deal? It was just a kiss!" I stomped over to the couch and threw myself down. "It's not like me and Joren made out in the library or anything."

That's when I realized my big mistake. "What – are you talking about?" she said slowly.

I opened my mouth to respond, and nothing came out. _Shit_, I thought. _Great going, Kel. Now you've really screwed everything up. This isn't even about what happened in the library!_

She took a few slow steps toward me and the stopped. "You – you kissed Joren? That – that _boy_ – "

I let out a breath of frustration. "Yes, mother. I kissed that _boy_. And I feel like shit, okay? I feel like hitting myself over the head with a really hard hammer. You should have seen Cleon's face when he – "

She grabbed my arm, her face void of all color. "Cleon saw it?" she whispered in horror.

"Well, yeah. That's why I feel like killing myself."

She pulled me toward the door. "You go right next door and tell him you're sorry."

"Mom, I tried that. He won't listen to me." I tried to get back inside, but she blocked the doorway.

"Go!" she yelled and pointed at the Kennan's house.

"Okay, okay," I muttered, then stopped. "Hey, if you didn't know about the kiss, what were you so angry about to begin with?" I asked her, and almost laughed when her face went blank.

"I – uh – I'll talk to you about it later," she said, obviously trying to remember what she was so upset about.

"Uh huh," I said. "Well, then. I should go and…talk – to Clean." Mom just nodded, and I ran across the lawn to Cleon's house, and prayed that he wouldn't open the door.

Unfortunately, the fates were not in my favor.

"Uh, hey…Cleon," I said awkwardly when he stood in the doorway, glaring at me with such loathing, such hatred, I could almost feel flames licking up my face. "I, uh, just wanted to say that, well, you see, I'm really very sorry about what happened and it's all really Joren's fault – well, because he was the one who kissed _me_, I was just reacting the way any living, breathing female would act around someone who looks like that and – " I paused for breath.

He raised an eyebrow at me. "Are you finished?"

I shook my head. "Almost. What I'm trying to say is, I'm sorry. I didn't mean for it to happen. And I'm sorry you had to see it."

Still he didn't say anything, so I pressed further. "And I just wanted to say – that you can keep your car," I glanced behind me at that wonderful piece of machinery sitting on the road, "but despite that, I will agree to continue with this little game of pretend." I waited for the slap of words that usually accompanied everything I said to him, but he just pursed his lips in thought. "And I'm sorry," I said again.

Finally, he sighed and opened the door wide enough for me to walk inside. "You're forgiven."

I didn't move. "Excuse me?"

"I said I forgive you." He took my arm and directed me into the kitchen.

"You – you forgive me?" I shook my head to clear the fog that seemed to have settled over my brain, blocking any clear thoughts. "I thought you hated me."

He smiled. "Well, I did." 

And that's when I swear I heard the sound of my heart breaking.

__

No, that's just your stomach growling, I told myself furiously. _You do not love Cleon. Repeat after me: I DO NOT LOVE CLEON._

Don't be silly, a tiny voice replied. _She's never going to listen to you._

Cleon seemed to be watching this internal war of mine with great amusement. "You know," he said, breaking my concentration. "I only hated you for about three seconds."

__

Ha, that little voice laughed. _See?_

What does that have to do with the other thing? The other voice exclaimed. _You're just crazy._

No, I'm crazy. I'm hearing voices in my head.

I cleared my throat. "You did?"

He nodded. "I knew you'd come over here apologizing and begging me to take you back– " At that, I smacked his arm, but he pretended to ignore me and just finished his explanation. "So I just told myself that I loved you too much to let you go like this." He grinned at me.

__

Uh huh, said the tiny voice when my heart gave a little leap of joy. _Uh huh, uh huh, uh huh._

Shut up! That was…indigestion!

Sure, sure. Whatever you say. There was a pause. _Keladry loves Cleon, Keladry loves Cleon…_

"Are you okay?" Cleon asked, peering at me with concern in his eyes.

"I'm fine," I replied, not really knowing how to deal with the situation. "Um…so, you're not angry with me any more?"

He smiled. "Nope."

I frowned. "Okay."

We stood in silence for a few seconds, and then Cleon spoke again. "Just one question. Why _did_ you kiss Joren?"

__

Great, I thought. _Here we go._


	7. Parents From Outer Space

****

Chapter Seven:_ Parents From Outer Space_

Disclaimer: _I had a dream the other night that in the middle of Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers, Orlando Bloom (Legolas) started to strip to the song 'Footloose.' It was quite enjoyable. ^_^_

"Okay," I said. "Do any of your other friends look like him?"

Cleon laughed. "No. I can assure you they do not."

I gave a weak smile. "Good."

He waited, and I just stood staring at the floor. "Well?" he asked with a superior grin on his face. "Why'd you do it, Kel? Why'd you kiss him?"

I bit my lip and closed my eyes. _I wanted to see you squirm. I wanted to see you hiss and snap your teeth at me. _"I wanted to hurt you," I blurted out and opened my eyes to see Cleon giving me a funny look. "I was angry at you."

"You were angry at me?" he asked. "Why?"

_Because of the way you make me laugh, the way you can look at me and make me tell you the truth…because of how you make me love you so much it hurts._

"Because of how mad you make me."

Cleon frowned. "So…you kissed Joren because you were mad at me for making you mad…"

Listening to him say it made it sound incredibly stupid, but I nodded anyway. Okay, so I nodded sheepishly, my face burning with embarrassment, and glared at him defiantly. 

He stared at me for a few seconds, and I thought he was going to hit me, but then he threw back his head and laughed. Laughed! The pig can laugh.

"Why are you laughing? It's not funny!" He grabbed my arm for support but I pulled it away and he fell to the floor, clutching his belly.

"Ho! Ho ho!" he managed through the laughter.

"What, are you Santa Clause now? Get up! And stop laughing!" I crossed my arms and pouted.

Cleon finally controlled his hysteria, but didn't get up from the floor. "What's wrong with you today?"

I glared at him. "Hello…I just, like, totally screwed everything up!" _Did I just say that? I sounded like a … a peroxide Barbie Doll! _"I mean – "

This just prompted Cleon to go off on another laughing tangent, so I leaned against the wall and waited it out. After about five minutes of me standing in complete and utter embarrassment, he stood up and faced me.

"Look," he sighed. "I'm sorry for pulling you into all this. If you'd rather, I'll just tell the guys the truth when they get here tomorrow."

I thought about this, and realized I didn't want to stop. The lie we'd built was like a drug; I had a feeling that if I gave it up, my life would have no meaning, however corny that sounds.

"No," I said slowly, shaking my head. "We're too far in now to call it off. I mean, what would we tell your family? What would I tell my mom? That it was all just a joke? You know it would break her heart."

_Not to mention mine. I mean – _

Yep, yep, the little voice taunted again. _You know it._

Shut up.

I knew I was rambling, but a crazy part of me just didn't want to give the lie, or the ring, up

_You mean you don't want to give** him** up._

I don't know what you're talking about.

Yes you do. Look at him.

Yeah, and what am I looking at?

Your heart.

I snorted and Cleon smiled slightly. "You want to keep _pretending_ we're engaged?" He stressed the word 'pretending,' but I thought he was just glad I hadn't thrown the ring in his face.

I nodded and clasped my hands together. "Okay. So what now?"

"Well I was thinking – "

"Keladry! Your father's on the phone!" My mother came bounding through the Kennan's front door waving the cordless phone in front of my face. "He wants to talk to you," she said and wiggled her eyebrows.

"Oh gee, I wonder what he wants to talk about," I said sarcastically and glared at my mother. She just grinned and asked Cleon where his mother was. He shrugged and she went off in search of Mrs. Kennan.

I took a deep breath and lifted the phone to my ear. "Hi Daddy," I said meekly.

"What the hell are you thinking, getting married to that – that hoodlum!" he bellowed.

I held the phone slightly away from my head and prayed I wouldn't go deaf. "Daddy! He's not a hoodlum! He's a Harvard law student." Cleon grinned at me and I stuck my tongue out at him.

"You're only in high school, for Christ's sake!"

I rolled my eyes. "I'm 17, daddy, and I'll be graduating in less than two weeks."

"You're too young! What about the rest of your life? What about University? _What about your future?!"_ I could practically see my father's angry red face and his scolding finger ticking back and forth like a metronome. _Tick tock, tick tock…_

"I can still go to university, daddy," I said patiently. "Cleon's not going to stop me." I glared at him and then got a brilliant idea. "In fact, he said he could probably talk to the Dean of Admissions about getting me into Harvard." 

I raised an eyebrow at Cleon and his face paled. His grin disappeared and he fell back against the opposite wall. "No," he whispered and shook his head violently. He slid to the floor and put his head in his hands. "Not the Dean of Admissions."

I held back a giggle and poked him with my toe.

"Really?" The anger left my father's voice. "Is that so?" I could hear the wheels in his head turning.

"What are you thinking, daddy?"

There was a pause.

"I'm thinking that this week would be a good time for a visit, don't you?"

"Daddy, I can't go to New York right now. I have exams. You know that."

He laughed. "I was thinking more along the lines of me coming to visit you."

I froze and stared at Cleon with a look of horror on my face. "You? Come visit us?"

Cleon's face fell and he looked like he was going to cry. Instead, he started banging his head against the wall.

"What's that noise?" my father asked.

"Nothing," I replied quickly. "Just the – dog."

"Dog?" Cleon mouthed and I shrugged.

__

Crap, I thought. _Why is this becoming such a disgusting habit of mine? No more lies, Kel. This is where it stopped._

"Uh…yeah. His name is – Legolas!"

__

Oh yeah, good way to stop the lies.

Shut up, you.


	8. What the Hell Is A Pooper?

****

Disclaimer: _I'm really not following the Protector of the Small story line, so no one can sue me for this story. I just borrowed the character names and such. What's Kel's dad's name? And what's Cleon's dad's name? What are their mothers' names? Doesn't Keladry have 3 sisters or something? What about Cleon? I don't own any of the books, so…_

Chapter Eight: _What the Hell Is A Pooper?_

After that stimulating conversation with my loveable father, Cleon and I had a very serious discussion of our own.

"We're not getting a dog," he grumbled and crossed his arms.

"Come on, Cleon," I whined, sulking around the kitchen. "I told him we had a dog. What's he gonna think when he gets here and there's no dog?"

"Tell him I killed it in my sleep."

I glared at him. "Don't be a pooper, Cleon."

"A pooper? What the hell's a pooper?"

"You. You're a pooper." I pulled open the fridge and scanned the contents. "You have no food. Pooper."

He rolled his eyes. "Oh, that's real mature."

"You're one to talk," I muttered and slammed the fridge door. "You're the one who won't buy me a puppy." I gave him the most pathetic look I could muster and hoped I didn't look like a total retard. "Please?" I fluttered my eyelashes for added effect.

And you know what? It worked!

I could see his defenses drop, one by one, until all he was left with was that stupid I-love-you-and-I'll-do-anything-you-say look on his face.

He sighed. "All right. We'll go down to the pound and get you your dumb dog."

I squealed. "Yay! Thank you so much! Woo hoo!" I skipped around the kitchen a few times and then, completely against my will, threw myself into his arms. "You'll never regret doing this!" I giggled into his ear.

"I'm sure I will eventually," he muttered and wound his arms around my waist. "But right now I couldn't care less."

I suddenly realized where I was and tried to pull away, but he held me tight. "Let me go," I said, but his grip gently increased to the point where I couldn't even move.

"Nope," he said, smiling down at me. "You're the one who started it."

"Did not!"

"Did too."

"I _so_ did not start it!"

"Yeah, you did!"

"No, I – "

"Aww, aren't they just so cute?" I ripped myself out of Cleon's grasp at the sound of my mother's voice. "No, no, don't stop at our expense." She swept into the room, followed closely by Cleon's mother. The two women exchanged a knowing glance and sat down at the kitchen table, though what they knew was beyond me.

"Where's Freddie?" I asked and watched them exchange another 'look.'

"She took Cleon's friend to see the city," Mrs. Kennan replied with a grin. "Such a nice boy, that Joren."

"Yes," my mother agreed with a similar smile. "A nice boy. To see the city."

I narrowed my eyes. "That slime."

"What was that?" my mother asked.

"Nothing," I said and quickly changed the subject. "Ah – Daddy's coming to visit."

Mom's face lost all color and she stared at me as though I had just told her I was going to have Kevin Bacon's illegitimate love child.

"Mom? Did you hear me?" I moved to sit next to her.

She blinked and waved my words away. "Yes, yes. So Piers has finally decided to leave his precious office, has he?" She glared at something above my head.

I bit my lip. Maybe now wasn't the time to tell her about the dog. But when in doubt, choose _si_. "Um…there's something else."

She gave me a cold smile. _It's for him, not for me,_ I told myself.

"Yes? What is it?"

I glanced over at Cleon who stared at every object in the room but me. _Thanks for your help, pooper!_ I mentally screamed at him. "Well, you see," I began cautiously. "Cleon and I had a discussion just before you two came in – "

At this, Cleon snorted. "Right, a discussion."

I glared at him. "Yes, a discussion. That's generally what it's called when two people talk about something."

"_We_ didn't talk about it. _You_ talked about it and I – "

"Stood there and nodded your head like a blob of brainless hormones," I snapped.

"I did not!"

"Yeah, you did. But anyway, we're going down the pound in a bit to get a dog." I waited for my mother's response and was genuinely surprised when she smiled.

"That's nice, dear," she said, getting up from the table. "Just make sure the dog is potty trained."

She swooped out of the room in the same fashion she had swooped in, Mrs. Kennan trailing behind her. I stared after them and wondered what the _hell_ I'd done to deserve such a mother.

"Right, so let's go get us a potty trained dog," Cleon said with a grin.

I said nothing, just glared at him, stuck my nose in the air, and stormed out of the kitchen.

* * * * *

I've never really had a pet before, so when we got to the pound, I had no idea what to do. There were all these pleading eyes, sad pleading eyes staring up at me, saying "Please take me home, I'm lovable and cute!"

So when I stopped at the cage that held a little porcupine and started babbling about how cute it was, Cleon decided it was time to take matters into his own hands.

While I was giggling stupidly at the pointy little creature, he found the lady who was in charge and told her we were looking for a dog.

"Is this your first pet?" the woman asked, glancing at me worriedly.

Cleon looked at me too, and grinned. "How'd you guess?"

The woman, who I later found out was named Gloriana, led us to the back of the building where they kept all the dogs. And then I broke down.

"Oh, Cleon, look at this one! Doesn't he just look so sad? And look at his paws! Aww, they're so big!" I pushed my face right up to the bars and the dog stared at me with blank eyes.

"Uh, Kel, that's a rotweiler. We're not getting a rotweiler."

"But it's so cute? Aren't you, you sweetcakes?" That's when the dog attempted to eat my hand. I jumped back and gave the dog a death glare. "Okay, let's move on."

We walked down the aisle and I examined each and every dog, though not too carefully, and when we reached the end I'd still not found the perfect dog.

I sighed in defeat. "This is hopeless. I guess we were just not meant to have a dog." I looked up at Cleon and felt my eyes well with tears. My bottom lip trembled and…

Loud yipping filled the room. Gloriana rolled her eyes skyward and grumbled something incomprehensible. "Barry!" she yelled to the back room. "Shut that dog up!"

Renewed hope filled my soul and I glanced at the scowling woman. "You have another dog back there?" I asked.

Her scowl deepened and she shot me a glare. "Yes, but you don't want that one. He's nothing but trouble."

"What kind of dog is he?" 

"A little one."

"How old?"

"A year, maybe less."

I was nearly jumping up and down with joy by now, and Cleon had to grab on to my arm to keep me from running into the back room.

"We'll take him," I said with a grin.

Gloriana blinked. "Don't you want to see him first?"

"No. I want him now."

She looked hesitant. "All right, but I'm giving you fair warning. That is no dog in there. That is a demon from Hell."

I looked at her like she was crazy. "Dogs aren't evil. Take me to see him," I demanded.

She shook her head and said, "Follow me," and led us into the next room, where on the table, sat a tiny white dog, no bigger than my purse, who was barking and biting up a storm.

I gave a squeal and leapt forward. "Oooh, he's so cute!" I exclaimed and scooped the little thing up in my arms. "Look, Cleon! Isn't he adorable?"

"Yeah, he's just peachy. Can we go now?"

The dog stared up at me with wide eyes and opened his mouth. Gloriana stepped forward to take him from me in case he snapped at me, but he just yawned instead.

Gloriana smiled. "That'll be twenty-five dollars, please."


	9. Jump, Legolas, Jump!

**Disclaimer: **_Well, this here is the stupidest chapter I've done for this story to date. I've decided I'm not going to change all the other chapters, not only because I don't have the time, but also because I just don't feel like it. I'm lazy. Um…also, if anyone would like the job, I'm looking for a beta reader for this story, and for The Punkers, as well as any other stories I may spit out along the way. If you have the urge to edit crap, e-mail me. The usual disclaimers apply._

**Chapter Nine: **_Jump, Legolas, Jump!_

"Keep that dog in its cage!"

"But he's lonely in there!"

"I don't care!  I don't want him getting doggie slobber all over my precious!"

I glared at Cleon from the backseat and hugged the tiny furball to my chest.  "He doesn't slobber, do you Legolas?" I cooed at the dog, who just lolled his tongue out and stared lovingly at me.  "You see?"

Cleon muttered something and kept driving.

"There is no _way_ your car is more special than Legolas!  Take that back!  You're just jealous," I told him and kissed the dog's head.

Cleon glanced in the rearview mirror and grinned.  "Of course I'm jealous," he said.  "Look where the dog's head is."

He laughed and I gave him the dirtiest look I could muster.  "You're disgusting."

"No, I'm a nineteen-year-old guy with a sexy fiancé," he replied and turned onto our street.  I opened my mouth remind him of the fakeness of this engagement when he said, "And on that note, the rest of my friends will be here tomorrow morning."

"…Okay," I said and blinked at him.  "And I care because…"

Cleon shrugged.  "I dunno.  Just thought I'd tell you."

I cooed at Legolas again.  "Okay."

Cleon parked the car on the side of the road and I leaned over the seat.

"Hey," I said.  He turned around and I shoved Legolas in his face.  "Look at him, Cleon."  I pushed the dog closer to him.  "Look, he loves you."

He glared at the dog.  Legolas looked up at him with wide eyes and licked Cleon's nose.

"Gross!" he exclaimed, leaping out of the car.  Legolas yipped happily.  "Shut up!" Cleon yelled and kicked the door shut.

I giggled. "I think he's a little jealous," I whispered to the tiny dog. "Let's go cheer him up."

I tucked Legolas under my arm and got out of the car, just to run into Cleon. "Ow," I said with my nose smushed up against his chest.

He glared down at me, fighting against the urge to smile. "Watch where you're going," he snarled.

With a smile and a giggle, I pushed my way around him and skipped up the front walk to the door. "Get the cage, will you Cleon? Thanks so much."

Five minutes later, I was sitting on the floor in my living room, playing with Legolas. Cleon was standing in the corner, glaring at me and the dog, his arms crossed, and a sullen look on his face.

He grumbled something and I looked up at him. "What was that?"

"We have got to give that dog a different name," he muttered.

I pouted. "What's wrong with Legolas?"

"Everything. You can't name a dog after a frigging elf in a movie."

I stuck my nose in the air. "I didn't name him after the elf in the _movie_. I named him after the elf in the _book_."

Cleon rolled his eyes. "Oh, well then. My bad." He plopped himself down beside me and watched as Legolas raced around and around in a circle, trying to bite his tail. "But really, that dog isn't smart enough to have a name like that."

"He's smart! Aren't you, boy?" Legolas looked up at me with those huge, dumb eyes. "You're a very smart doggie."

To prove his intelligence, the dog walked over to Cleon, lifted a leg, and proceeded to pee all over Cleon's shoes. My jaw dropped open.

"Legolas!" I scooped the dog up in my arms and jumped to my feet. "How could you?"

Cleon hadn't moved. He sat on the carpet and stared at his soaked, smelly shoes. "He – he – he just pissed on me," Cleon said unbelievingly. "That little shit."

I backed away from him, the shit in question still clutched in my arms. "He didn't mean to, Cleon. It was an accident."

He slowly got to his feet. "That dog has had it in for me since we got him. Everything he does, he does it to annoy me." Cleon's eyes were getting a weird glow to them.

I took a few steps back. "Now, Cleon. He's just a dog. He's not out to get you."

Cleon growled. "He's the devil. A demon from hell."

_Oh dear. He's gone mad._

"Um…okay, well…hmm…" His eyes were wild with insanity now. "How – how about we just give him a different name? How about that? What should we name him?" 

Cleon just growled.

I laughed nervously. "Okay, why don't I choose a name then? Um…Kirky. Is Kirky okay?"

He growled again.

"Hee…okay. Speckers?"

Growl.

"Rover."

Growl.

"Jake."

Grr.

"Asaki!"

Grrrrr.

"Jump! Let's just call him Jump!"

No growl. Cleon was silent, and I breathed a sigh of relief.

"Jump it is, then."

Jump, formerly known as Legolas, lept out of my arms and raced out of the room. I stared after him helplessly, and prayed that Cleon wouldn't take this chance to rid me of the only happiness I'd ever had. Okay, well maybe not the only _happiness_, but the only _dog_ I'd ever had.

I twiddled my thumbs and stared at the ceiling, waiting for Cleon to say something. The room was still silent. I risked a glance at him and saw that he was just staring at me, that same dumb, obsessed look on his face he'd had earlier that morning.

"What?" I asked, inching away from him. "Why are you looking at me like that?"

His mouth twisted in a mocking grin. "No reason'," he replied and walked toward me.

I stepped back. "Don't look at me like that."

"Like what?"

I put my hands in front of me like a shield. "Like that. Like I'm a – a piece of steak or something."

"Hmm. I was thinking more like an ice cream sundae."

"Um." I bumped up against something and glanced behind me. I'd backed into the bookcase; there was no where else to go! "You don't really want to eat me though, right Cleon?"

His eyes grew even more crazy than before. "I dunno. You're a pretty tasty morsel."

_God, can he **get**__any more retarded?_

"I'm not a morsel, Cleon. I'm a human being." Anything to stall him. Please, God, don't let him get any closer.

But alas, my pleas to the Lord above were unheeded. Cleon was close enough to bite my lip and I tried to lean away from him. Why does he feel the need to do that?

"You're so beautiful, Keladry," he whispered and I nearly melted. The man does have a way with words when the time calls for it, I'll say that much.

His lips were _this_ close to mine, and I sucked in my breath, preparing myself…then the doorbell rang and Jump set off on a series of yipping and yapping that made my eardrums quake.

I sighed in relief and ducked under Cleon's arm. "I'll get that," I said, my face burning red.

_Saved by the bell.___

I waited a few seconds to compose myself before opening the door…and nearly screamed when I did open it.

Standing on my front step, bags in their hands, were four men wearing identical Harvard sweatshirts. My mind went numb and I stared at them dumbly.

"Ah…"

The tallest one grinned. "Hey, is Cleon here?"

_Oh no, they're a day early! What's Kel to do? The next chapter's gonna be fun, and the one after that is gonna be even better. It's called "Revelations," and reveals Cleon's "secret lifestyle." Y'all are in for a ball of laughs. ^_^ Just out of curiosity, how many other friends does Kel have in the books? 3? 4? 10? I wasn't sure, so I guessed 4. I can add more later, but please e-mail me or tell me in your review if you know! Thanks so much. _


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